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douche on the outside

so most people think i'm made of about 85% of the world's evil and douchness and i would like to keep it that way. here's the fifteen percent you didn't know about.

You have nothing. You have a pile of secrets and lies and you’re calling it love. And in the meantime, you’re letting your WHOLE life pass you by while THEY raise children and celebrate anniversaries and grow old together. You’re frozen in time. You’re holding your breathe. You’re a statue waiting for something that’s NEVER going to happen. Living for stolen moments in hotel lobbies and coat closets. You keep telling yourself it all adds up to something real because in YOUR mind it HAS to but they DON’T They won’t. They NEVER will because stolen moments aren’t a life. So you have nothing! You have NO ONE. End it NOW

Weirdos.

I giggled my way to ignoring his messages….

::coughing:: All I want right now is soup and a hand job

oh is this what we’ve been fighting against? shoot. better get a pitch fork. ::sarcasm::

(via nostringsattachedguy)

Me.

(via eeyaaann)

If I murdered someone she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor.

—-> I miss my person

(via eeyaaann)

At the end of the day, the problem is that you can’t seem to get the imaginary relationship out of your head. People who go through breakups, they can cite actual reasons why it didn’t work out, why they’re better off without them. But you never got that chance. So, all the what-ifs and should-haves stay lingering in the air, making it impossible to ‘just get over him’ and keep you replaying the past while everyone else seems to skip merrily, hand-in-hand, into the future. It’s a constant effort to forget about him, about them, and you’re rarely rewarded any success.

I’m in a love affair without a love song
I’m in the habit of having what I don’t want
I’m just a hologram
You can see but don’t touch me baby
Oh I bet you want me now

katie herzig

lawl.

i love how every remix of Nicki’s Starships is a lot more fun than the original

my theme song.

Can’t wait for summer.

are you freakin’ serious?

Hey man,

You’re about a year and a half late with these feelings. You’ve already slept with a friend of mine that you were hung up on forever and now you’re in a relationship sounds like it’s ready to hit rocks. Don’t out of the blue and tell me you want to sex me the next time I’m in the area. It’s not going to happen; time has elapsed.

You had your chance,
Andy

“it’s a new dawn it’s a new day; And I’m feeling’ good”

Uh yeah…

I love when a straight guy especially one from a strong religious background or family upbringing that condemns homosexuality tells me that im good people contrary to what people say about gays…

…uh im pretty douchey in general. Judge me by that and not the fact I’d bang your hot brother if you had one; maybe even your uncle if he’s hot.